Official White House Photo by Pete Souza
Archives for : January2013
I am not a Taylor Swift fan.
I am not a fan of most pop music songs.
I am a HUGE fan of Samuel L. Jackson and he can make even the crappiest songs cool.
About a year ago Brooklyn received her driver’s license and one of the first things she did with it was shove it in her mouth.
At that point I was concerned that the state of Missouri had made a mistake. After approximately a year of driving without any major mishaps I had begun to worry a lot less. I’m still worried of course and I will till the day they nail my coffin shut but I think that’s normal. Then last night I sent Brooklyn and Rylan to the store to pick up a few things for dinner. About 15 minutes later I received a call from Brooklyn who said that she had locked the keys in the car. I gave her a little static for it but honestly who hasn’t locked themselves out of the car at least once? I was unable to go to the store to unlock the car so I had her call my mother who had a copy of the key. My mother, bless her, showed up in a matter of minutes and opened the car for the kids. The kids came home and brought the groceries upstairs. I was then notified by my daughter, who was laughing hysterically, that she had gone and locked the keys in the car again. I almost think it would have been better if she had swallowed the damn license.
I was reading the Huffington Post (yeah I’m the kind of guy that reads HuffPo, got a problem with that?) and I came across a video of Dolly Parton singing Jolene. I’m not much of a country western music fan, in fact I loath pretty much all of it that wasn’t written and performed by The Man in Black, but this one is less distasteful than most.
Now I’ve got a little bit of a problem with the song. The singer, Dolly Parton, is pleading with a beautiful woman named Jolene. She’s afraid that Jolene will steal her man (I’ll be referring to him as Herman from this point on) and that she has no way to prevent it if that’s what Jolene really wants. My biggest problem is that Dolly here has some trust issues with Herman. Either she’s been hurt before or Herman is a big old cheating jerk and she’d be better off without him. I’m guessing it’s the latter as he cries Jolene’s name out in his sleep. I also took issue with the fact that Herman’s feelings on the matter were moot. He’s obviously an emotional child and gets distracted by the nearest shiny object/pair of boobies. It’s easy to think that this is Dolly’s opinion of all men and that annoys me. However there are more than enough examples of men behaving this way and she’s kind of justified. Later on though when I was looking for a cover for the song I came across an Estonian indie-rock band named Ewert and The Two Dragons. Their version is a fantastic response to the song. It’s from Herman’s point of view and instead of being a cad he’s showing himself to be a stand-up guy which is how every man should respond when they find themselves in this situation. Give it a listen and please please please let me know what you think in the comments.
I was going to have some great intro that explained my reason for writing this post but honestly it’s because asshats like the members of the American Family Association piss me off. I’m a Christian and I’m tired of people who claim to have the same beliefs I have spew thinly veiled racist and bigoted bullshit. Donald Wildmon, the founder and chairman of the AFA wrote an outlandish e-mail warning the other members that by 2060 their life is going to go to shit. I’m going to break this down a bit.
What will religion look like in the year 2060?
I’m guessing that by religion you mean Christianity and if that’s the case then it’s a safe bet that the 2000+ year old religion will still be around.
Conservative Christians will be treated as second class citizens, much like African Americans were prior to civil rights legislation in the 1960s.
I think’s it’s pretty doubtful that Conservative Christians will be forced to sit on the back of the bus, drink from separate drinking fountains or be subjected to lynch mobs. However maybe walking in someone else’s shoes for a decade or so might correct that mistaken belief that you have any idea what real persecution is about.
Family as we know it will be drastically changed with the state taking charge of the children beginning at birth.
Marriage will include two, three, four or any number of participants. Marriage will not be important, with individuals moving in and out of a “family” group at will.
With examples of Conservative Christians like Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich the only problem you seem to have with multiple spouses is that you think they should be consecutive.
Churchbuildings will be little used, with many sold to secular buyers and the money received going to the government.
Have you ever walked in an inner city? This shit is happening now and it’s not because of anti-Christian sentiments it’s because of economic hardships. Dude you’re priorities are fucked.
Churches will not be allowed to discuss any political issues, even if it affects the church directly.
Pendulum is swinging the other way. When laws are being passed that force rape victims to undergo a transvaginal ultrasound, effectively violating them a second time, before having an abortion to prevent them from having to carry their rapist’s child, then a lack of religious influence we don’t have.
Tax credit given to churches and non-profit organizations will cease
When ministers are making six figures a year and mega-churches are installing basketball courts and swimming pools then maybe we do need to revisit the issue.
Christian broadcasting will be declared illegal based on the separation of church and state. The airwaves belong to the government, therefore they cannot be used for any religious purpose.
Now you’re just grasping at straws. It’s ratings and money that will make the difference. If networks think that they can make a buck off of religious programming then it’ll be on the air. You want to keep Christian broadcasting on air? Get better ratings.
We will have, or have had, a Muslim president.
We haven’t, just because he’s got dark skin and a funny name doesn’t make him a Muslim. Even if he was then who gives a damn? This is the racist and bigoted part that really pisses me off. Let’s say that President Obama (who’s not) or one of his successors are Muslim, that in no way means that he’s going to start promoting the flying of planes into buildings. Just like George W. Bush didn’t set off bombs in front of federal buildings.
Cities with a name from the Bible such as St. Petersburg, Bethlehem, etc. will be forced to change their name due to separation of church and state.
This is where the racism and bigotry take a back seat and ignorance and stupidity take over. St. Petersburg was not in the Bible and in fact wasn’t even founded until 1703 by Tsar Peter the Great whom (did I use that right?) the city was named for. Now I’ll admit that if you cut out more than half of the letters then you can end up with Peter which is a word that appears in the Bible. Just like if you cut out some letters of New York then you can end up with the word New which is also in the Bible. Guess that’s got to go too.
Groups connected to any religious affiliation will be forced out of health care. Health centers get tax money from the state, making it a violation of church and state.
Mr. Wildmon has a real problem with the whole separation of church and state thing. OK so tax dollars don’t go to religious groups that are involved in health care and may not provide certain legal health care services due to their moral beliefs. What’s the difference between that and not sending tax dollars to groups that are involved in health care that will provide those same legal health care services due to moral beliefs?
Get involved! Sign THE STATEMENT.
Donald E. Wildmon
No idea what “THE STATEMENT” is but it sounds like it could be the title of a pretty good dystopian novel. If that’s the case then I’ll buy a signed copy.
In the end I can only say that I’m ashamed that Christians like myself who don’t believe in the extreme views of these Conservative Christians don’t take more of a stand and say in a loud clear voice that WE’RE CHRISTIANS AND THESE PEOPLE DON’T SPEAK FOR ME.
The first Tuesday of each month at 10:00 pm CST Patrick Rothfuss hosts a Google Hangout called Story Board which is sponsored by Geek and Sundry. The most recent Hangout featured Mary Robinette Kowal the author of Shades of Milk and Honey and Glamour in Glass among other novels and short stories. Oh and she’s also a professional puppeteer. I’ve read the first book and found it a great read. I plan on getting to the second as soon as I finish about three others. The Story Board is a fantastic video series and I recommend subscribing to it.
I have no idea how reliable this site is but if this is even remotely possible then by God it had better happen.
Unlike House, where Brit Laurie played an American, he would be able to use his normal British accent in Crossbones as he would play the notorious English pirate Blackbeard
How great would this be?